Smack That!

As my friends know, I'm not really a concert kind of gal. It's not like I don't appreciate music + crowds, it's just never been at the forefront of my consciousness. Now that I'm in Shanghai though, I'm constantly on the prowl to do new things at every spare moment. Cityweekend/Time Out are my Bible/Koran. Thus, I just had to go see Akon when he came out to Shanghai. And I brought my itty bitty clubhead cousin with me too. :) Paid 580 RMB for our 2nd level center tickets, the view was decent and I was happy. No need to sit close enough to smell Akon's armpits.

SO. Akon, I'm assuming there's a reason why you put like ZERO effort into your concert's production. Is it because you can't simulate sex with underage girls anymore? Is it because you can get away with it in China? The only prop that we saw all night was this unfunny bongo/DJ assistant who wore a silly kilt all night. The only costume change you slowly peeling away layers from your sweat-soaked all-white suit, eventually making it down to half-nakedness [I expected a meat dress at the very minimum.]. And your only dance move was a half-hearted fist-pumping routine in your attempt to rouse the Chinese zombie crowd, peppered with "Yea yea yea!"s. And your declaration of "I LOVE YOU BEIJING!!!" may have been a wee bit inappropriate in Shangers. -_-;;; Just sayin.

But I'm a concert noob, which means that I should either have absurdly high or low expectations. [Low] All I wanted was to shake what my momma gave me to Akon's 43829473 hits, which he delivered faithfully. Of course there was some autotune involved, but he's actually quite a good singer, and he sounded exactly like he does in his tracks. Perhaps too exactly..... O_O I had fun anyway!!! 

One of the best things about a concert is the people watching.

- Man sitting down, you look like a government official's son or a 富二代. Stop acting bougie and pull that stick out of your heiney-hole!!!

- Bro wearing plaid pants, you go girl.

- 12 year old girl in the front, didn't your parents tell you that it's dangerous to sit so close to Akon when he's performing? Or maybe you're actually 32, it's hard to tell in China.

- White dude with the spider monkey arms, I would hate to sit behind you.

Partner in crime.

Best shot I could get of the night.

Bask in Akon's sweaty glory, everyone.