The Purpose of School -- 再見, D.C.

Last week I spent 2-3 days in D.C. to see my SAIS friends and to tie up any loose ends with the school. I have decided to withdraw from SAIS to pursue an opportunity in Shanghai and will be moving back to China in a few weeks.

Quite frankly, the idea of spending another 1.5 semesters in D.C. hasn't been sitting well with me for awhile. I truly enjoy the subjects of Economics and International Relations, but this isn't undergraduate child's play anymore. We're in the big league, where you make a thoughtful choice to take 2+ years of productivity out our lives in pursuit of greater happiness... whether it be in the form of a better job, well-deserved holiday, another academic degree, of course it varies with each person.

What about me then? I'll be honest and say that I never would have thought of applying for SAIS if I didn't desperately need a pause button. I was lost and confused, and it seemed like the best way to defer further advancement into adulthood at the time. I always thought I was a MBA kind of girl, Wharton, HBS, one of those guys. But after Lehman all I wanted to do was enjoy a nice work-life balance, so I started to nurture another level of ambition (not money cash hos, but maybe power fame minions). I guess I went from one extreme to another, the first wanting to become a MD by the age of 30, the other wanting to become the U.S. Ambassador to China or something important in the government.

Then I did my research. I even got a summer job in the U.S. Department of State in their Guangzhou Consulate as an Economics-Political FSO intern. I went through the Top Secret clearance, passed, but for some reason got stopped by red tape. In the meantime, I read many books in the Hopkins-Nanjing Center's library that detailed lives of diplomats and other members of the foreign policy community. It dawned upon me that this job description didn't actually check many of my "must-have" boxes, and soon after this path lost its romance. The last thing I wanted to do is make yet another big U-turn in life, so I made a brutally honest evaluation of who I am and what really makes me tick.

I made the decision to formally withdraw from SAIS a week ago. I had been weighing the option of deferral, but with its extra fees all it would only be an expensive and unnecessary reassurance. I know I will miss out on so many amazing experiences (let's not start with the staff rides, happy hours, high-profile guest speakers please!), but I have to do what's best for me. I don't have anyone but myself, no rock... just hard reality.

I don't know when exactly I'll be flying back to Shanghai, but it will happen sometime this month. I am fully aware that this is a decisive step in life that will take me in another direction, so I'm taking the time to reconnect with all my loved ones before we lose grip on one another. I'm alone in China, but I don't want to wake up lonely one day. Hence, my D.C. trip to say goodbye to friends.

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Uhhhhh... so I'm a complete retard and left my memory card inserted in my laptop when I went to D.C. DOH!!! :( Image handicapped. These are pictures from Will's phone, surprisingly good quality (Samsung Galaxy). I'm sad because it was a beautiful day in D.C. and Dupont Circle was really very pleasant to wander through... but I guess some things are better left off the record, ha!

I want to thank all my friends in D.C. who came out to see me for lunch, dinner, drinks. :) You guys are brilliant and amazing, and I'm comforted by the fact that everyone is a travelholic... so that means I'll be expecting a lot of visitors in China!

Will and I make it to the famous Georgetown Cupcake shop!

We got Red Velvet and Banana Split. Check out the fudge center in the middle of the banana cake. Absolutely divine.

And this is Georgetown (where Will is getting his MBA)!

I crashed with the ever-so-lovely Marg[aret] for 3 nights.

LOVE YOU MOCHI.

Goodbye D.C.

I start this post on the 1pm Boltbus back to New York... after narrowly missing my 11:30am bus (the door literally shut on my face right after I sprinted out of the cab). Note to self: I really need to change my bad habit of being late. Sometimes the huffy buslady with attitude will not give into your hyperventilating pleading quivery puppy face routine. Surprising, I know. :p

Anyway. I must stop being late. I'm really not looking forward to the inevitable mommy-nag. [Edit: My mom was too happy to see me to nag, yay!]

My last week in DC was packed, filled with studying, filled with drinking, filled with eating, filled with good ol' fun. I'm certainly going to miss all the friends I've made here at SAIS Pre-term. Everyone is so smart, interesting, and have I mentioned good-looking? It was just a short month, but I know that I'll feel comfortable roaming the halls of Nitze and Rome when I come back next year. No freak hallway for me, woot~

After wrapping up the micro final and macro waiver exam, I was free to cavort and frolic as much as I pleased. Lucky me, because I knew two pretty ladies who played hostess in their homes, Shama and Alex!

Every girl hails from a different part of the world. We're like Pokemon.

Taboo is only the best freaking game in the world, fyi.

Go "Team Bonecrushers"! It was hilarious because most of the non-Americans were on the other team, heh.

The always lovely Alex, SAIS's very own manslayer and professional mimosa alchemist.

Tommy probably in midst of a captivating story about "Pepito", the chubby little Mexican boy he babysits.

Andrew and I introduced Shiva to Korean pop girl bands. You can also see Marco's totally enraptured reflection off the laptop screen, haha.

GAME OVER BOYS.

Phill's satisfied expression explains it all.

I put the camera on a paper towel roll on timer. Yet why is it so blurry? Hmm...

Oh why thank you Lubomir for violently smashing yourself into the table at the last second (do you see how slanty the liquid in the wine glasses are?!). Haha, twas a perfect happy moment.

Someone's Watching You...

Peeping Tom-cat.

I guess it means they like you if you get followed into the bathroom, heh. :)

Madame Secretary

Yesterday Hillary Clinton came to SAIS to speak about the Global Health Initiative, which is a proposal to work with developing nations in improving... global health. It's outlined to be a 6-year $63 billion plan, with the goal of creating sustainable health programs with partner countries throughout the world. Keyword is sustainable. No more throwing billions of American taxpayer money down a sinkhole, please. You can watch her speech here.

Hillary came rolling into the front gates outfitted with a ridiculous orange power suit and accessorized with mean security detail. I was at closest around 10 feet away. She looked pretty much exactly what you would have expected... perfectly poised and reassured, with a purposeful energy. Very powerful, that Madame Secretary. I was too scared to take a photo when she walked by because I didn't want to get Terry Tate'd by Secret Service, haha. I laugh now, but it SO NOT FUNNY if I ended up tasered and on CNN. After seeing a few people take pictures without consequences, I finally ventured to snap a few shots myself. And I'm still alive, woohoo!

Her speech was around an hour long, and I attest that she is one talented orator. And of course she is, especially with her past presidential campaign and current job requirements... I felt her words didn't flow out like the honey (like Barack "The Siren" Obama) but were almost surgical instead -- deliberate and perfectly executed.

Listening attentively in the Q&A session.

Yea, you know you're a bad-ass.

I'm not in any way familiar with global health issues so I can't speak extensively about this issue, but I learned that the health of our fellow world citizens is not only a moral responsibility, but also a crucial element in our national security. It appeals to the heart and the brain, and I do very much hope that we can make this initiative work.

I'm happy that SAIS is turning out to be exactly what it said it was. It's exciting to witness things like this, if not for the star factor then at least for the action. What I mean by action is this: very important things that extend beyond us as mere individuals are in the works everyday. Do you want to be doing it, or do you want to just take it? (Pitcher or receiver? HAHA just kidding.) I'm not sure what I want to be in the future yet, but I know I want to play an active part in the world. But there's just so much out there that I don't understand... as they say, the more you learn the stupider you feel. :p

Space Cadet

I had a day off from class today, so I went to check out the National Air and Space Museum located in the National Mall. Since all museums under the Smithsonian have free admission, it was ridiculously packed with whiny teens and wailing tots even on a random Wednesday afternoon. They have an amazing display of ORIGINAL historical pieces... I'm not even into this type of fancypants aerospace stuff, but I ended up having a really entertaining time walking around the exhibits and ducking the relentless 98 degree DC heat. And sorry folks, Pluto really did get kicked out of the Solar System. :(

The original propeller from the Wright Flyer.

"This is one of the propellers used on the Wright flyer during its historic flights on December 17, 1903. The propeller and airplane were damaged after the final flight that day. The propellers now on the flyer are original Wright propellers made at a later time."

Able, O Courageous and and Unwitting Participant in Space History.

(Seriously, that's him. Preserved and taxidermied in a glass box.)

"On May 28, 1959, biological experiments involving two monkeys were added to a Jupiter missile nose cone test flight (The Able-Baker Mission). The test took its name from the two monkeys, Able... and Baker. In 16 minutes, the nose cone traveled 2735 kilometers from Cape Canaveral and reached an altitude of approximately 579 kilometers. The two monkeys survived the flight in good condition, however, Able died 4 days later from a reaction to the anesthetic given during surgery to remove an infected electrode. Baker died on November 29, 1984 of kidney failure at the age of 27."

Apollo 11 Command Module Hatch. Yes, the flight that landed the first man on the moon!

"This is the hatch from the Apollo 11 Command Module. This single hatch could be opened outward in five seconds by pumping the handle to activate a pressurized nitrogen cylinder. Prior to the tragic fire in January 1967 in which three astronauts died, there were two hatches on the Apollo command module requiring 90 seconds to open."

I can't explain why I find this funny. I amuse myself so very easily. :)

Micro Midterm Madness

Tomorrow I will take my first real midterm in 4 years.

This old girl's a wee bit rusty!

That indeed is fear pooled in my eyes, or at least a damn good reenactment of it.

Each eraser detritus represents a shard of self-confidence being flayed away.

And sometimes it's not such good furniture placement when you can swivel yourself right into bed. :)

Metrolicious

I've been on a lot of underground public transportation systems in my life: The Subway. The Metro. The T. The 捷運。Out of all the ones that I've ridden on in America, Asia, and Europe, I think the DC Metro takes the cake. Here are my reasons why:

You can just FEEL the earth surrounding you...

The D.C. Deeprun Tram...?!!

1) You have to get on a seemingly interminable escalator that takes forever to get to the platform level. It would be a pain if you were late for work, and I'd imagine that it'd be REAL pain if you managed to stumble down all 430248248 steps, but all that emphasizes just how deep the tunnels are... not like NYC where water seepage drips on you whenever it rains outside. I love feeling like an industrious dwarf going down a mine shaft. :) Hi ho, hi ho.

2) There's no silly incongruous "art" mosaics scattered around random train stations. Just solid symmetric concrete blocks that make me feel strangely safe and cozy.

3) The trains aren't sleek and new like Hong Kong's or Taipei's, but they have nice cooshy seats that are sometimes worn but never dirty. Gentle on the butt.

4) No black bubblegum stains, no stagnant water puddles, no trash spilling out of every nook and cranny. Clean. Efficient. America.

5) They tell you how long you have to wait for the train on the platform. Not that it makes the train come any faster, but it does let you know about how minutes late you will be for class, which is good for gauging expectations.

Ready to work. Zug-zug. Dabu!

PANDAmonium

One of the glorious benefits of living in D.C. is that EVERYTHING IS FREE. Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but I was referring to most of the cultural items, like museums, concerts, galleries, exhibitions, etc. It completely blows my mind, since it seems like admission to everything in New York is at least $10+... like the Guggenheim, Museum of Natural History, the Bronx Zoo, the Brooklyn Aquarium, movie theaters ($13 regular, $18 3-D or IMAX), any club/lounge ($$$)... But it seems like Our Great Nation encourages an intellectual and curious spirit within all its citizens (in its capital city) through these gratis programs. I do very much appreciate.

Anyway, given the fact that I'm situated at Woodley Park for the next few weeks, I thought that I should get to know my neighbors better, Mr. and Mrs. Panda. Haha, yes... I live right next to the zoo. :)

That nebulous blob next to the arrow is a cheetah.

The prerequisite for a successfully curated "natural" habitat is that you must never be able to find the animals. The challenge is half the fun...?

"Please do not tap on the glass"

Boy Delinquent to the right played a mad percussion set on the glass window.

Orangutan is probably thinking: F U, kiddo.

Wow... girl pandas are either sluts of feminists, haha.

FINALLY I SEE YOU, Disinterested Celebrity Panda.

Was it Yuan-yuan, or Tian-tian, or Mei-mei, or Pu-pu? Your background collage almost made me believe that you were peacefully resting in the mountains of Szechuan and not in a glass cage surrounded by screaming children the average age of 3.

Devil wears Panda.

Panda purse or Panda pimp stick?

Decisions, decisions... what do you guys in the back think?

Big shoutout to my fellow HNCer Gene, who went along with my notion that checking out pandas today would help us understand China better. Next task: trying out General Tso's Chicken, Mushu Pork, and Fortune Cookies! Then I'll be ALL set for China. :p

I need to make a list of awesome (free) places to see before I leave D.C. at the end of August. I was feeling a bit lost with my time when I first got here, but now I feel like I'm sitting at a Vegas buffet -- so many things to devour, with only so much space in my stomach.

Captain Miffy with the Candlestick

Wrench, Rope, or Lead pipe?

Candlestick is usually my weapon of choice. Unassuming yet effective... (I've thought a lot about this)

Meet Mitzi (she's still alive)! The DC sublet that I found on Craigslist came with a kewwwt furry roommate. It's so very nice to have her welcome me when I come home. :) With pets, all you have to do is shower them with a little care and they'll love you in return. So much less complicated than humans.

I didn't think there could be a lazier feline than my 小虎, but here you go. My guesstimate from 2 days of observation is that she adopts this belly-up position probably 65% of the time (like RIGHT now). The other 33% she's on her belly. The other 2% she's eating her kibble. This lethargy is definitely rubbing off of me -- I haven't done any work since getting back home yet, been watching a marathon of Ochocinco's matchmaking reality show on VH1 for the last 2 hours. I can always rely on VH1 on delivering the best brain botox. :p

Tomorrow is a full day of FREE PERIODS. No class, baby! What will I do with my time?!! I should definitely unplug the TV right now.

Beginnings and Endings

Today was my first day of school. Well, technically it's called "Pre-term" here at SAIS, but I was treated to my first 3 hour lecture (microeconomics) in 4 years... and I swear my grey matter was on the threshold of spontaneous combustion. We had this math test where at some point I was supposed to take the derivative of ln and the only symbol that popped up in my head was "???" :p I don't think that was the answer, haha.

The act of trying to stay awake is probably one of the most effective method of torture. Reviewing old material always feels so much more tedious than learning new material, but who knows... I might fall to hubris and flunk. On the side of the spectrum, today I also met some extremely interesting and worldly peers who make me feel very humble, and I'm very excited to pick their brains over the next few years. Socializing is a bit awkward and forced for me sometimes, which is why I'm looking forward to Friday Happy Hour and the effect of beer (Charisma +10)!

Alma Mater 2.0

I know this is quite a cliche thing to say, but I never thought that I'd be here last year. July 26, 2009, I was content in my warm nest. It's overwhelming how far I've drifted... and I can't determine whether it's been for better or worse. I can bring myself to tears when I sit quietly and think about the past, so it's better to just keep on moving... even if it's only one step at a time. Perhaps when I lift my head up a bit later down the road, I'll be amazed to discover where I've ended up.

When there's an ending, there will also be a beginning.

When you get broken down, you have an opportunity to rebuild.

When a part of your heart gets scooped out, make room for something else.

I will not lose to myself !!!

The Wharf

Last weekend I hitched a ride with my friends Jerry and Shawna down to Washington D.C. and crashed at their place for the first time. Their house is really comfy and spacious... I call house party at the Chantemsins!!! Wooooo~~

We bounced dinner suggestions off one another when we got close to D.C. One popular choice was Chipotle, since I haven't had any since getting back to the States. Shawna and I love Chipotle, but just between me and my readers, it's only because I could seriously just eat all their condiments (sour cream, corn salsa, guacamole) by themselves. Gross, I know, but at least I don't squirt whipped cream into my mouth. Anyway, so that brilliant idea was nixed by Our Great Leader and then I said I wanted to go to The Wharf. He grumbled something about your hands getting all smelly but gave in to our pleading chimes. What is The Wharf, you say? Well, I hadn't really the slightest clue since I've never been there before, but I knew there were fresh oysters and that's pretty much all I cared about.

Live freshly shucked oysters are one of my three culinary sins, the other two being foie gras (torturing geese) and otoro (endangered species?). Generally speaking, I shun killing anything, meaning I will not eat fish/shrimp that has been plucked out of the tank for my personal consumption, I usually do not eat live crab/lobster, I will not squish a fly. But, I will eat oysters and I'm ashamed to say that I haven't the slightest inclination to wean myself off this evil desire. I tell myself that oysters aren't really alive... I mean LOOK at them. They're just lazy lumps. Delicious creamy briny lumps. No, they certainly are not alive... practically vegetables, I say.

Food stamp cards accepted.

I don't know how I feel about people on welfare dining on freshly shucked clams and oysters when they should be buying bread and fruit... ah well, just another government loophole.

When we got to The Wharf, it was a bit smaller and smellier than I had expected, but it had all the proper goods. People were lined up for all types of seafood, but mainly crustaceans. And by people I meant Black people and Asian people. I was a bit surprised by the homogeneity of the crowd, but you can interpret it as you will.

They were very very good. And I'm an expert.

There was no sitting room at The Wharf, only messy eating stations where you stood with platefuls (or boxfuls) of seafood. I bought half a dozen oysters for $7, and a batch of snow crab legs for also $7. It was cheap and delicious, if you didn't mind eating like a Neanderthal. Soon after attempting to tackle my snow crab, I realized that I couldn't rip open its carapace with my teeth and nails, and so I bought a handy dandy wooden mallet for $1. That was a dollar well-spent, and I happily bashed my way through the rest of dinner. [Disclaimer: the crab was already split and steamed when I bought it, so it's exempt from my no killing rule since I didn't kill it. I know, it's a shifting of guilt/responsibility but I haven't reached saint status quite yet!]