Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Balinese Dream


Just got back from Bali, Indonesia tonight. Amazing amazing amazing!!!!!!!!!! Plane tickets to Denpasar is a bit on the expensive side, but once you get there you'll find that everything is beyond reasonable (and of excellent quality). Food is great. People are great. Diving is great. Beaches, mountains, rivers, valleys... they have everything you need for a proper vacation!

Will definitely go back many times in the future. Post more soon once I get my house back in order and my brain back into Pinyin-mode.

After 8 days of bliss I'm in China-proper again -- enough play, it's game time.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

My Mom's Answer for "Why Men Wear Pants"

My mom just forwarded me an email that I just HAVE to share with everyone for these compelling reasons: 1) I couldn't believe that she was spamming me, usually all her emails are like, "WHERE ARE YOU, CALL ME BACK NOW." 2) She has a sense of humor. Where was this 10 years ago when I needed it? 3) She has a dirty sense of humor. AMAZING! :) I hope it stays at little boy peepees only.

Parents really do get cooler with age. :) Here is the email in full glory, Engrish and all!

"Why Men Wear Pants" (男人為何穿褲子?...哈)

Why did men decide to wear clothes?
男人為何穿褲子?
Early experiences that convinced the male to wear clothes
(Miffy: "Because little boys were convinced in their formative years that it was just safer to wear pants.")
因為幼年的經驗,是男人相信,穿褲子比較安全。

Aw, how cute! I still can't believe my mom sent me this. o_o
I wonder if this still happens to grown men... who uses their weewee as a bookmark anyway?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Gobi Desert Camel Caravan

Day 6: Dunhuang (overnight stay in the Gobi Desert)

I decided to dedicate an entire post to our camel ride into the Gobi Desert, where we stayed overnight in tents, surrounded by sleepy sand dunes and covered by another amazing blanket of stars. We actually didn't plan on taking this tour at all, it was only when we stumbled into some random Western hostel where we discovered that it was even possible... for just 300RMB per person! Camel, food, tent, and quirky guide all included. :)

It was amazing. Even though we weren't deep inside the Gobi, we were far enough to be alone with nature... and once the silence hits you... it's easy to feel crushingly small. I couldn't stop staring at the starscape (yes I just made that up). I saw quite a few shooting stars, even satellites! If the light is blinking steadily, it's a plane. If it's not blinking and is chugging through the sky, it's a satellite. If the light darts across the sky and then disappears, it's a shooting star. Planets can be brighter than stars. If you strain your eyes too much when you're staring at the stars you can feel dizzy. And that you should have gotten a higher prescription for your glasses. Gene didn't bring his iPad on this trip, otherwise we could have used the Starwalk application, but it was easy to see how ancient people could trace figures in the sky. I saw Godzilla, giant ice cream cone, Pikachu... :)

We were invited to rest in Master Li's (李師傅) home while he was prepping the camels.
I'm guessing a typical home in the Gansu countryside. It was simple, clean, and cozy!

Off I go, on George the Camel! :D
First passing through the outskirts of Dunhuang, where we were surrounded by fields of corn and cotton.

We reached the periphery of the desert, which was a graveyard.

These people were buried under conical pyramid-like markers on very flat land. I thought mountains would have been preferable for fengshui reasons, but maybe they don't believe in it here? Almost all of these pyramids were neatly lined with brick, which was definitely the material of choice. If a visitor came then they'd leave a white strip of paper on the grave, weighted down by a stone. The ground was littered with paper. Each grave had their own plot of land, which were quite large at ~50m x 75m. There's more than enough land to go around here, at least the dry useless kind.

After passing through the graveyard (which wasn't scary in the daylight), we started climbing the sand dunes. The camels were very well-behaved and they smelled neutral too! I didn't stick my nose into their fur, but I didn't get any stinky whiffs at all unless they were pooping/peeing... But you will see later that their poop is actually quite useful! Don't jump to conclusions, just keep on reading!

Oh sweet Archibald, Gene's grey and balding camel. :)
You see the rod through his nose? That's how they control the animal (by pulling it).

After we got to our campsite, the four of us thought that it'd be a good idea to climb to the top of a nearby sand dune to watch the sunset. Was it as bad as climbing the Singing Sand Dunes the day before. No. It was much WORSE. I never want to climb another sand dune in my entire life.

Goodbye Sun!

At night Master Li cooked us a lip-smacking meal of ramen and (Chinese) Spam. Then we huddled around a fire made out of poop. Yes you heard me, POOP!!!!!!!!!!! O_O

Apparently camel poop is only like 1% "real poop" and 99% dried up grass (okay I'm making this statistic up but it's for my own peace of mind), which makes it perfect combustible material when you're in the desert and you have no wood in a 473248392 mile radius. It also doesn't stink, I swear. Nevermind Marge in the picture below. We had a grand ol' time, with wacky Jack Nicholson doppleganger Master Li singing us Cultural Revolution lullabies.


That night we just relaxed around our poop fire, listening to Master Li's weird tunes and trying to catch the satellites and shooting stars in the nighttime sky. It was lovely. We slept in tents after we started to get sleepy and it was actually not cold at all compared to Tianchi. Master Li found us a really cozy nook with giant sand dunes surrounding us, so it wasn't windy at all. Because we had to catch a 9:30am train to Jiayuguan the next morning, Master Li woke us up at 5:30am Beijing time, which is really like 4am Gansu time. Ughhhhhhh..... luckily we had these Commie-era army jackets to keep us warm.

Heading back to Dunhuang on our trusty camels.
This time it WAS a bit creepy passing through the graveyard. I wouldn't have been surprised if a mummy came out to say hello.

Communist Camel Cavalry, 1948.
(Or just a crazy bag lady)

Oh, I forgot to mention that we picked up a Japanese friend on this trip, Tatsu (far left).
He's travelling across the world for an entire year, budgeting out $20,000 only for ALL his expenses. He said that he saved up for 5 years to live out this dream but that he has a girlfriend at home. He hopes she will wait for him.

There's not much more to say about the overnight trip into the Gobi except that it was a worthwhile adventure. I know that I'm not Indiana Jones, but I know that when my kids grow up and get a chance to make it out there that this opportunity may not exist anymore, with the pace at which China is modernizing and all. Maybe it'll cost 3000RMB instead of 300RMB. Maybe there will be roads crossing through our campsite. Maybe they'll build a theme park. Some part of me feels like this was a very special experience because of China's rapid changes, and that what I've seen on this whole trip will end up only existing in my head and on this blog.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Bad-a$$ Bruce

I'm going to name my first child, boy or girl, Bruce.
Or least if I get a puppy or kitten at least.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Not in Kansas Anymore

At the China Pavilion, Shanghai World Expo.
Animated villagers going about their daily lives inside the famous painting "Riverside at the Qingming Festival" VS. unrepentant real life Chinese boxing each other out for a good view.

I'm sitting at home writing my paper about sovereignty disputes over 钓鱼台/Senkaku Island and how public opinion and nationalism affects foreign policy. China this, China that. Suddenly I realized: Oh shit, I'm in China. I'm not just reading the stuff, I'm in it. I'm looking out into China right now (grey and smoggy). It's right at my doorstep (dynamic yet smelly). I don't know, it's an obvious statement but it feels so strange. I didn't think I'd end up here. How did I get here again?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

So Otterly Cute

I should be working on my Chinese Foreign Policy paper but instead I'm watching baby otters learn how to swim, and so shall you... muhahahaha!! Otters are addictive.


Is it just me or is Mama Otter just dunking Baby Otter repeatedly into the water? I love the beginning when she's got Baby Otter by the foot and goes, "Nuh uh, I don't think so." HA. Otters are so awesome, I want one.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Singing Sand Dunes

Day 5: Dunhuang (Singing Sand Dunes)
Day 6: Dunhuang (Mogao Caves, overnight stay in the Gobi Desert)

Evening of Day 4, we headed out from Turpan (in Xinjiang Province) to Dunhuang (Gansu Province). Both Turpan and Dunhuang are must-see places on the Silk Road circuit, but linking up these two towns was a stressful travel experience. If you're going to attempt this same leg, here are a couple of words from the wise:

1. You'd think that China has a huge train network that allows you to pick any permutation of stops. You're wrong. Especially in the Western region, there's really just one main railroad that's like an aorta, and you get on/off at the closest town to your ultimate destination... usually a 3 hour drive away. So even though people say that Turpan has its own train station, what they really mean is that it's "only" a 1 hour drive from the ACTUAL town with the station (some sketchy bumblef*ck place). Same deal with Dunhuang, which is one of the most famous historical towns in China -- only recently did it get its own new train station, but it doesn't link up to the "Turpan station", so we actually arrived in another town at around 5am and then got into a taxi for 2-3 hours. Painful.

2. We had a "mule" bring our tickets from Urumqi to Turpan (3 hour ride), where we picked up our tickets at the station. It was literally like the passing of the Olympic Torch. It was so stressful because I had to communicate with the mule via SMS the whole time as to precisely which train, which train car, what time, etc... and position ourselves so that we were at the right spot to collect the tickets from him when he got off the train, and then hop on the train ourselves. This all seems way too complicated and unnecessary, doesn't it? Well, apparently because Turpan is not the first stop of the "railroad aorta", it's almost impossible to book a overnight ticket for our leg of the trip (we were traveling during National Week). Then you'll ask why can't we just buy the tickets for Urumqi to Dunhuang, and then just get on at Turpan? Because the railroad company will resell your tickets if you don't get on the train at the designated departure station. Yes, you lose your spot. So now you know why we had to pay for a train mule. So much could have gone wrong, folks... but we made it. :)

3. Overnight trains are not a bad deal. Highly recommended -- they've banned smoking and spitting now, even in the hard sleeper section.

On our way to the "Turpan train station".
An 8 hour overnight ride, where Gene and I experienced a horrible gastrointestinal thrashing. Marge and Rob were right about that sketchy looking lamb. :(

We arrived at Dunhuang at 5am the next morning and hopped onto a taxi, which ended up being a 2 hour death ride through the Gansu plains. It was completely pitch black, the road had no lights, it was literally a straight line, and we were probably driving at 175km an hour or however fast that tin-can could possibly go. Gene was riding shotgun so he was trying to make sure the driver stayed awake (would you be able to keep your eyes open if you were driving in the dark on a straight line???). Oh, and 5am in Western China is really like 2am, because Beijing keeps all the provinces in the same time zone. At some point I was so tired that I let myself pass out, rationalizing that if I was going to die in the hands of Mr. Speed Racer, I might as well not see it coming. We made it though, and staggered through the doors of our very decent 3 star hotel.

We decided to give ourselves a break for the first half of the day, catching up on sleep and taking long hot showers. I realized later that the difference between a 2 and 3 star hotel in China is whether or not they have 24-hour hot water available. So very key!

Later that day when we got all refreshed, we rented bikes and rode towards Crescent Moon Spring (月牙泉) and the Singing Sand Dunes (鳴沙山), where you can pretend to be Prince of Persia, go sand-sledding, and even practice your bow-hunting skillz. We also had these neon orange booties strapped to our legs so sand wouldn't run into our shoes.
Riding a camel while talking on a cellphone. The man takes it to a new level!

What do you think these Chinese say when they're going through their vacation photos?
"Oh, and this is a Laowai (老外)! Yea, Dunhuang was great."

It was really really tough getting up the sand dunes.
Something like 1 step up, 0.95 steps down with the 45+ degree incline.

People who made it to the ridge of the sand dune (not us).

This is when I realized that Rob has superhero thighs and supermodel poses.
... the stuff you see in comics but never think you'd see in real life.

We all took a couple rounds on the archery range -- it's really really fun!! I also got to live out my Night Elf Hunter dreams, hahaha... ^_^


Not surprisingly, some retardo Chinese think it's okay to step behind the archery range when a bunch of noobs (us) are releasing sharp high-speed projectiles in the air. I swear it's because of China's high population density that people behave like lemmings.

I was the slowest tobogganer ever. :(

Sunset on the sand dunes.

The next day we went to a UNESCO World Heritage Site, the Mogao Caves (莫高窟), which is an elaborate cave system of temples (492 of them) that showcase some of the finest Buddhist art that you'll find in the entire world. The first cave was constructed by a Buddhist monk around 400AD when he was travelling along the Silk Road and saw the silhouette of two "sleeping Buddhas" along the hills as the sun was setting. Inspired, he went to those hills and dug out a cave, commemorating his vision through art. Gradually, more and more monks created their own caves. Some of the bigger temples were commissioned by the royal family and wealthy merchants, similar to how art was patronized in the West.

If if you ever play charades with Gene, this is a "pagoda".

The green flag in front of the cave indicates that it's open that day.
The Mogao Caves only open 15 caves per day for minimum exposure and maximum preservation. 15 caves doesn't seem like much considering that there are over 400 caves available, but you'll be able to see an impressive variety of styles and themes.

Photography is prohibited (and vigilantly enforced), but I managed to sneak a photo in anyway because I'm a ninja. Wha-pow!
This isn't one of the best caves that we saw, but it's Sakyamuni Buddha's "court" (Tang Dynasty).

I didn't get to see this specific cave, but this is what they generally look like.

Mogao Caves was seriously the most culturally impressive part of the entire Silk Road trip. You'll see a lot of Buddhist art in Asia and there'll be a lot of recurring themes that get boring after awhile, but what makes Mogao Caves extremely special is the wide range of dyanstic styles. We saw caves that were created from the Sui, Tang (lots of that actually), Wei, and even Qing (they did a lot of touch-ups to the old caves). The figures of the sculptures, the patterns, the beams and actual shape of the ceiling, the type of material used... all of these were very different. It was amazing to see a such a diverse collection of artwork of similar theme in caves (not museums)! Okay, I don't know whether I'm doing a good job selling this place, but if you're on the Silk Road then you must make a stop at the Mogao Caves. If you can't understand Chinese very well, I recommend timing your trip so you can arrange for an English tour guide because otherwise a lot of interesting information might go over your head.

Oxidized flying asparas (飛天), aka pretty half-nekkid celestials.
Oxidation happens when light hits the paint, which is why no photography is allowed.

Also about the photo-taking thing -- I was a bad girl and sneaked one in at the very beginning, but there's a very valid reason why they're not allowed. The paint that is used in the Mogao Caves is mixed with certain metals that oxidize, so they'll gradually darken and turn black when exposed to light. Because these artwork are in caves, they're generally very well preserved, but you'll see that figures painted in the areas closer to the doors look drastically different than the ones deeper inside. For example, in one cave I thought that the images looked similar to African tribal art (just like the picture above), until the tour guide showed us the figures towards the back and oh my... I couldn't believe my eyes... so beautiful *stars streaming out of my eyes*. Of course if you're not using a flash while taking photos (like me) theoretically it should be fine, but you can't ensure that everyone will turn off their flash. That's why "no photography" blanket rules exist. I finally understand now -- so please follow the rules when you go to historical sites. They're there for a reason and we should try to preserve these cultural items for generations to come! :)

Next time, our overnight stay in the Gobi Desert!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Bunny Ears

YO. Check out my new earMiffies. :)
I got them today for 16RMB at the local market.

They're SO ridiculous! If I saw someone wearing them on the street I'd totally openly point and laugh.
I pondered the utility in buying these for oh... about 0.5 seconds. What's 3 dollars for a bit of fun (and yes, they are quite warm). :)

I promise myself that I will rock out with these bad boys once it hits 40 Celsius or under -- BOOYAH!