It's me!

ROBO CAT WUZ HERE

To prove that he has "mad Photoshop skillz" (his words exactly), Ikea telekinetransmorphized me all over the world, including Azeroth! Ah, I feel like an internet meme, like this, this, and this.

Indeed, you gots skillz. But I'm still not going to be your photographer in Hawaii. :p

My Mom's Answer for "Why Men Wear Pants"

My mom just forwarded me an email that I just HAVE to share with everyone for these compelling reasons: 1) I couldn't believe that she was spamming me, usually all her emails are like, "WHERE ARE YOU, CALL ME BACK NOW." 2) She has a sense of humor. Where was this 10 years ago when I needed it? 3) She has a dirty sense of humor. AMAZING! :) I hope it stays at little boy peepees only.

Parents really do get cooler with age. :) Here is the email in full glory, Engrish and all!

"Why Men Wear Pants" (男人為何穿褲子?...哈)

Why did men decide to wear clothes?

男人為何穿褲子？

Early experiences that convinced the male to wear clothes

(Miffy: "Because little boys were convinced in their formative years that it was just safer to wear pants.")

因為幼年的經驗，是男人相信，穿褲子比較安全。

Aw, how cute! I still can't believe my mom sent me this. o_o
I wonder if this still happens to grown men... who uses their weewee as a bookmark anyway?

Sesame Spice

OH MY GOD, is Grover the awesomest Sesame Street character or what!!!?

Grover was always my favorite as a kid (Super Grover anyone?), with Slimey the Worm as a distant second. Now as the Old Spice Monster, no muppet can ever take his place in my heart. :)

Scaredy Bear

"Oh, so kawaii that you're freaked the F out! Waaaa~~~!!"Someone call PETA.

HAHAHA oh my god... this baby bear is going to be seriously disturbed when he grows up. I don't know what credited zookeeper experiments with putting two different species in the same room just to "see what happens". The funny thing is, the baby lion is just going up the baby bear just to say "wassup homie"... get a hold of yourself, bear!

Check out some retribution action starting 2:10, haha. Monkey pwned.

Miss Universe FAIL

HAHAHA uh what...??? I can't believe that these are the questions that the Miss Universe Pageant asks their contestants for a media video promotion. Freaking Donald Trump and his fluffy orange hair transplants. This is how I'd answer his inane questions if I were Miss Genovia:

1) Being a woman, what piece of advice would you give a man?

(M: Calling out "konichiwa","mamacita", and "me love you long time" when I walk past you on the sidewalk will not induce me to turn around, flash you, and give you my number.)

2) What was the best gift that you have ever received?

(M: My ex-lover's eyeballs after I accidentally spilled photo chemicals on my face. Yea, it was super sweet of him.)

3) What was the worst date that you've been on?

(M: I've taken a vow to never date until married.)

4) Please make the following sound effects: Lion, Car starting, Rocket launching, Sheep, Cow, Robot.

(M: WTF?!! Should I even entertain this question? Chomp, Rrrrrrr, Bloop, Meh, Moo, BzztbzztFeedMeBrains. Are you happy now that I've demonstrated my ability to read childrens' books?! God, is that what all women are good for?!! *Storms off*)

Okay but seriously, I really don't really appreciate "THE MOST AWESOME WOMAN IN THE UNIVERSE" being judged by these criteria. These are topics that Maxim/FHM usually asks their Girl/Boobies of the Month. I don't expect much out of pageants anyway, but to see beautiful "smart" women subject themselves to stupid questions like these make me a little sad.

Here's an Epic Fail by Miss China. Oh Miss China, I want to pat your silly shiny head.

Beijing Beats

The Red Army Orchestra, People's Liberation Army 81 Studio.

The way that it was meant to be.

If this is the China I'm going to, then I'm ALL IN.

I literally squealed with delight when the erhu (二胡) guitar riff came up at 2:50. Learning the erhu has always been a goal of mine. Next time you see me back in America you'll see me doing a mad set while picking it with my teeth, heh. :)

Also, doesn't the main male singer look like he came straight from the Beijing Opera? I bet he was just happy that he still had a gig.

For more PLA Orchestra syncing to pop songs, click here. I recommend watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles one!

Sunday LOL Moment

AHAHAHA I rewatched this about 5 times already.

This one's so much better than the lady reporter who destroyed the sandcastle, mainly because this ice sculptor is royally PISSED OFF. Mad props to him for not stabbing the toolbag reporter in the heart. Just how do these news studios calculate appropriate compensation for a broken ice chair anyway? Hee hee hee. :)

Rolly-polly baby panda manages to squeeze out of its confinement cell, but instead of dashing for the door, it rolls over and decides to snack on some bamboo. And THAT is why pandas are an endangered species -- they're like Dodo Bears!

Zug zug. Midterm on Monday...