Sweetmeats

Are you one of those people that mosquitoes just zone in on? Do you question God's sadistic intention for making you every mosquito's favorite feeder?

If so, hello and welcome to my camp.

Two days ago, I only managed to get 3 hours of sleep because this persistent mofosquito kept on trying to suck on my flesh. I couldn't find and squish it (offense is the best defense), so I wrapped myself up with a bedsheet. I thought I had completely covered my body, until I woke up in the middle of the night with this strange pain on the tip of my middle finger. Turns out it was the ONLY piece of my body that landed outside the forcefield, and yes, the mosquito managed to find this 0.5 square inch.

Total grouchzilla the next morning.

Some people say that your diet affects how attractive you are to mosquitos. Some people (Chinese old ladies) have told me to eat less meat, to consume more acidic food. So I Googled "Why do I get bit so much?" and found a really good scientifically based article. I don't believe witchcraft herbal stuff, sorry Mother.

Scientists have identified several proteins found in mosquitoes’ antennae and heads that latch on to chemical markers, or odorants, emitted from our skin. These markers are produced by the natural processes of our bodies and, like neon signs, they let the mosquitoes’ smell center know you’re around (though the process that then guides them to you is not well understood). Flies and mosquitoes share a number of the same genes that dictate production of these odorant-binding proteins, which have specific sites that will catch or bind with certain chemicals in the air. Some scientists suggest that certain characteristics attract mosquitoes, thereby leading us to have more bites than others. Some of the top candidates: the amount of carbon dioxide in the breath, pregnancy, body temperature, alcohol and odorant markers based on blood type.

Blood-type markers are chemicals released by people of a specific blood type – so if someone with AB blood emitted a marker, it would be different than that released by B. One study found persons with Type O blood suffered more mosquito landings because of the odorant markers they emit than any other blood type, making their juices a hot commodity for blood banks, as well as Asian Tiger Mosquitoes, which carry West Nile Virus. Not only were Type O’s more likely to be landed on, but the study found that for any blood type, people who secreted a chemical marker about their blood type through their skin (both blood type and secretor status are determined by genes) were bitten much more than non-secretors; 24 percent in the case of the Type O’s. Other researchers estimate about 15 percent of the population, based on their genes, don’t emit chemical markers of their blood type through their skin and saliva, so something else has to be calling the mosquitoes to them.

Pregnancy seems to be a big winner for mosquito attraction, probably because mothers-to-be exhale 21 percent more carbon dioxide (quite a turn-on to the six-legged species) and are on average 1.26 degrees Fahrenheit warmer around the belly than their non-pregnant counterparts, due to the temperature of amniotic fluid. Also, having just 12 ounces of beer increases your mosquito appeal, possibly because of the increase in body temperature it causes or because skin markers change when metabolizing cocktails – unfortunate since outdoor drinking is a highlight of summer anywhere.

Ah, well I'm blood type O. And I get really hot and flushed when I drink. That explains it. It's in my genes, nothing I can do about it except drench myself with DEET and vaccinate myself from Japanese Encephalitis.

Universal donors get all the flack, man.