I woke up around 8:30am, sleeping 10 hours or so. But these hours weren't slept continuously, I had woken up several times during the night due to an experiment. For the first time, I slept on my couch instead of my bed. My couch is, I estimate, at least 6 inches shorter than my own body frame. My bed is 200cm x 100cm, and I always end up swimming in fabric. It should be obviously which piece of furniture is vastly superior. I did this experiment partly because I was too lazy to get up after doing some late-night reading (and dozing off), and also because I wanted to know how this couch would feel like should I have any guests over. I thought that the sheepskin cover would compensate for the lack of space, but now I know that fluffy wool is best appreciated during short sitting periods. Every responsible host should know these basics, and now I know that only tiny friends should be relegated to the couch. :)
I had particularly vivid dreams because I woke up several times in the night. None of my dreams were traumatic, but they ranged from the extremely mundane to the utterly fantastic. I know why I dreamed that I was cutting my toenails, um, because I actually need to cut my toenails (ew). Yes, I've reminded myself that I'm due for a pedicure anytime now, but I just haven't found the time for anytime. Maybe I will dream of this every night until I get it done (I will do this today)! But it is less clear why I dreamed that I was inciting a riot staged in a movie theater, where everyone was tricked into thinking that it'd be a 2 hour program but by the time we had sat there for 2 hours the show was only less than half way through. I was enraged and thought it was unjustified that the organizers could waste our time like that. Well hm, now as I type this out I can see that this is a clear analogy of certain frustrations at work, ha.... Another dream fragment that I remember was seeing an old high school friend of mine. I'm pretty sure that it was because I saw her picture somewhere on FB, and was wondering how she was doing. I'm usually pretty torn about people in the past like that -- on one hand I would love to get in touch, on the other hand I know that there's probably very little that we have in common anymore. Sometimes I wish that I had 厚臉皮 and was someone who liked to seek out and FB-friend people. I feel fine taking the initiative if I felt like we had a connection, but I'm very conservative with connecting with people circumstantially. Part of it is an awful ego thing (if I know it was not a deep connection, I don't want to be rejected), part of it is a selective privacy thing. But sometimes when I click around on FB I'll find an elementary school friend or HS friend who has gotten engaged or has given birth months ago. Even though I haven't talked to this person in ages, I feel so happy for them, and part of me wishes that I could extend this towards them. But I can't really, since we're not really friends anymore, FB or otherwise. That kind of sucks.
Ok that was a warm-up.
On a completely different note --
Recently I read an article on New York Times' Magazine about how Target compiles customer data and then makes predictions on their consumer habits based off certain buying patterns. The most fascinating topic of this article wasn't how ridiculously smart Target is on growing their customer base through consumer behavior, but the dissection of consumer behavior itself.
Researchers have figured out how to stop people from habitually overeating and biting their nails. They can explain why some of us automatically go for a jog every morning and are more productive at work, while others oversleep and procrastinate. There is a calculus, it turns out, for mastering our subconscious urges. For companies like Target, the exhaustive rendering of our conscious and unconscious patterns into data sets and algorithms has revolutionized what they know about us and, therefore, how precisely they can sell.
Our relationship to e-mail operates on the same principle. When a computer chimes or a smartphone vibrates with a new message, the brain starts anticipating the neurological “pleasure” (even if we don’t recognize it as such) that clicking on the e-mail and reading it provides. That expectation, if unsatisfied, can build until you find yourself moved to distraction by the thought of an e-mail sitting there unread — even if you know, rationally, it’s most likely not important. On the other hand, once you remove the cue by disabling the buzzing of your phone or the chiming of your computer, the craving is never triggered, and you’ll find, over time, that you’re able to work productively for long stretches without checking your in-box.
HOLY SHIT. My shortened attention span is the product of bad habit!!!
Um, maybe you guys knew that all along, but I certainly didn't. :)
According to this article, habits are formed through a three-part process: cue, routine, reward. As social animals, humans generally enjoy receiving new information or feeling involved. Any series of actions that leads to such ends can become a habit, irresistible urge, or worst of all... an addiction. These days the reward of processing information comes at a very low cost, and the routine of doing so has very low barrier to entry. What do I mean by this?
For example, you're reading something. Say it is in newsprint and we're in the 1990s. Surely there questions will pop up as you encounter new information, but in the past you'd have wait until you could access resources to answer your questions. These resources could be your teacher, the library, your friends, or the internet... using your very modern 56K modem. Although questions are essentially cues for people to start searching for answers, the timelag or inability to reach such answers forms a routine that is only triggered for the most essential and urgent questions. Flash forward 20 years later (holy shit, am I really that old), we have super-duper fast internet speeds, Google, Wiki... the human natural tendency to ask questions may not have increased, but the ease of receiving immediate information satisfaction has promoted the habit of addressing each of these "cues" whenever they pop up. Perhaps too indiscriminately. Modern technology has commoditized data, and instead of carefully weighing whether certain questions are even worth immediate exploration ("Do I really want to wait 5 minutes for this damn webpage to load?!", circa 1995), we can just ask Siri. And if Siri is in a foul mood that day, at least we can quickly type keywords into the Wiki app on our smartphones. Boom -- there is your answer, the reward. However, surely this relief is quite fleeting because another question will pop into your head upon reading the answer... and before you know it, your original purpose and mission has been carried away by a strong current, a hyperactive habit loop stimulated by technology.
That is my hypothesis on why my attention span has suffered through the years. I know that this is a widespread symptom than spans our society, particularly those my generation and younger. We have developed this habit at such an impressionable and formative age, whereas in contrast my Mom finally uses Google at age 61 and pecks at the keyboard with just two index fingers (but now reliably sends me all the Jeremy Lin articles she digs up, yay!).
I really really hate feeling mentally spastic. I don't think I was like this before. It seems like like instantly replying to text messages, answering emails, and even restocking my Tiny Tower is an addiction. Okay, I KNOW my Tiny Tower is an addiction!!! But I need to combat this since I'm not a very good multi-tasker... my biological RAM just ain't that big! :(
Well, I think the primary step is awareness. Being aware of the situation as it actually unfolds allows our rational selves to override the subconscious. Since habits are subconsciously processed mental loops, we must consciously go against the flow in order to form new options. The next time I really want to do something, like read a book or write on this blog, I have to minimize the involvement of conflicting cues. This stops the habit of mental wandering before it even starts. I can silence my phone, or close any unnecessary browser tabs. On the other hand, I can also work on forming an overriding habit of concentration by rewarding myself when I complete tasks that require a longer attention span. Right now I have spent two and a half hours typing out this particular entry, but the relief in being able to archive my thoughts is highly rewarding. Sharing ideas and getting feedback from my readers is also highly rewarding. :) Reaching the end these more arduous tasks really is more satisfying that responding to a barrage of random stimuli... there is a concrete reward that doesn't have you wonder what the hell you spent your time on today...!
But by all means, I'm not advocating that we all regress into cavemen and ignore the instant ease of information in lieu of more time-consuming pursuits. Employed at the right time and in the right way, instant data makes us so much more productive and happy than we have ever been (with exception to FB stalking your ex. I advise everyone to just please defriend if you cannot control yourselves). I explored this topic because I really do want to add more content that happen to require a longer mental investment. We're human, and are given glorious free will. It's awful to have to reduce a majority of our behavior down to a mere series of habits. I don't want think that I'm just a robot, doing things but not knowing why. That is why I really enjoyed reading that NY Times article, and spent a fair amount of time analyzing what it personally means to me. If you have read this blog entry to the very end, bravo! I tip my hat to your superior attention span. I also pat myself on the back writing this 2,100+ word entry, which is a big fat FU to ADD. :)
My skin also looks rejuvenated and smells like berries, and I didn't even attempt to eat the face mask. Another point for sustained concentration! :D
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